Titillating Trials & Tribulations Of The Polyonymous Ms. Elizabeth

A quintessential concoction of emotions, events ... and Life.

Name: Liz
Location: Los Angeles, California, United States

My goal is to subtly seduce your senses through sophisticated storytelling and WOW you with my wordplay!

March 23, 2005

On Fire!

I don't know what it is about me, but lately I have been emanating so much warmth - and heat. It just radiates off of me. I think it is fueled by my desire and passion ... for you.

Do you know what sweet torture it is to have had you, yet ... you are so far away? To only taste of your body between such long periods of time? I become starved and emaciated for your body Beloved. That is your name now. It came to me in a dream ... Beloved. Loved by me. I whisper your name as I feel the echoes pulse within me of our last union.

Beloved ... you are electric.

How I imagine our next meeting. I want to caress your face. Take in each feature through my fingertips and look at you to burn my memory with this image. The image of you and I ... sitting with our legs entwined ... in the darkness. You relaxed and receiving. I taking you into me with every single fiber of my being - angelic succubus. Beloved, you purge me of the poison of lust and desire by allowing me to take you like I do. Leave me clean.

"Do you know how beautiful and precious you are to me Beloved?" I slowly and carefully whisper into your ear as I hold your face cupped in my hands. I want you to soak in each word and feel it deep down to your core. Then when I have let the words linger and make their way to your soul I will playfully, delicately and longingly lightly lick your earlobe and you will hear me exhale as you inhale. Breath interchanged in close space, and my hand falls from your face down to your chest.

I can feel your heartbeat and my other hand travels from your neck to your back, I pull you closer ... and deeper into me. Our ribs interlock and I close my legs around your waist. My hands roam free and so do my lips. I kiss ... your forehead ... your eyes ... your nose ... your cheeks ... your neck ... your shoulders ... and finally. Finally ... I sensually lick your lips and prepare it for a kiss. I look deeply into your eyes and see I am inside of you. And, with that I kiss you. I kiss you long and hard. I take your lip and bite it. Bite it with enough pressure to blur the boundary of pain and pleasure.

Beloved. If you only knew. If you only knew that having you deep inside me. Thrusting in and out isn't enough. I want to absorb you into me. I want to go beyond you and me. I want that moment where we are both one and time stops. Where beauty, love and light intersect. That thin crossroads of what is beyond words yet understood by both. That you are me and I am you ... that we are one.

At times Beloved. At times it feels like I so want to be intermingled inside with you that I think I will break you. The times I scratch your back and draw blood, I hold back. I want to tear you apart and see the warm core in the center of you that fills me with such passion and desire. What is it? Where is it Beloved? Is it your scent? Is it your warmth? Is it your words? Is it that look of your eye? The touch of your hand? That singular sigh?

Beloved. I would move mountains and build bridges for you. I want to bathe and anoint your body with oils and lotions. I want to lick you from head and toe, run my hands through every inch of you. Record you for eternity from the outside in. I want to swim in your body Beloved; I want to live in your sea.

November 04, 2004

FREEDOM & CHAIRS

What is with all this talk about Freedom and Chairs
And of waking upon Mountains putting on Airs
Of Sowing and Reaping and drinking in Wine
About Weaving and Spinning in a Dance so divine

Of carrying Crosses and talking to Crow
About Crying and Weeping over Seed unsown
Memories and Time that no longer exist
And a feeling of loss as Our Story persists

Can you see, feel, taste, touch and hear the Wild Song
It is the rhythm of Life that pulsates among the Human Throng
The sound that We make as our feet touch the Ground
Is but an illusion we keep in our physical Shroud

Through the countless Journeys we have all taken through the Years
The Ground is growing weary with spent Blood, Sweat, and Tears
I saw the Big Picture as I was making my way
Through trails forged by others and their hurried sway

I took note of the surroundings that they swiftly passed along
And I saw, felt, tasted and touched the sounds of Their Song
"They must be stone deaf," I said out loud
For why can they not Hear their own Sound

Can they not see this jigsaw is almost complete
Can they not feel the crumbling beneath their feet
Can they not taste the change that is in the air
Can they not touch the presence ... for they are the Rightful Heir

And I stand admist all this as it bruskly overtakes me
I am torn asunder yet cannot make my plea
For this is an event whose time is coming near
And now that I can see the Big Picture I do not Fear

For Great Action comes only through Great Loss
And only now are we realizing the Cost
Why fight over what must be and who pays the Price
Because this world isn't made on the luck of the Dice

I want to hold you all in a Loving Embrace
To bathe you All in the Joy and Peace of Grace
But we tend to believe all the Lies we are told
That Happiness lies in things that are Sold

August 17, 2004

I Am A LEO!

The sign of the "Leader" or "Ruler." Dedicated to the throes of passion, the personality type of Leo makes no exceptions. "Love me or Leave me, either way you'll always have my heart," should be this signs motto. Leo is a truly unique sign in that it takes everything to heart, but yet always stays in the dominant position. Passion, Desire, and Creativity are Leo's middle name. Leo combines all three to push life to its limits to withdraw life's ultimate pleasures. Leo people always look good, and try to persuade others to be lavish in their styling. Leo reminds us all that looking good and feeling good is also an important part of life. Leo is also a very sexual sign. That spark of creativity throughout Leo's personality is what most partners are looking for in the bedroom, and Leo types are all too happy to spread it around. Leo people also have a flair for the dramatic, but this is what makes them so full of passion. This personality type can take any situation, and turn it into something so big one would be willing to give everything they had for them, and you Leo's know this all too well. Leo is Desire. They always place their heart before their head, sometimes making rash decisions which result in messy affairs.

Final Thoughts
With such creativity and dominance in life, the Leo personality should be more than successful in this life so long as they can keep that fire focused. Over indulgence in the pleasures of life is not always a good thing. Remember you will always have other opportunities, but why not try to make this one work first. Try to be humble, and balance some of that childish need for attention into some true creativity.

July 30, 2004

July 28, 2004 Tarot Reading

I use an 11 card Spread. The bulk of the reading is done in two section, The Medicine Wheel (6 cards) and Pathworking (4 Cards). The final card is the Blessing Card, this is what Divinity really wants you to know, beyond all else.

The Medicine Wheel is laid out much like a compass. There are four points and a card in the middle. Crossing that card is the sixth. The Medicine Wheel is read from the inside out, beginning with the bottom card, which is the Querant position.

The Pathworking Spread is laid out beside it working from the bottom (near me) to the top, in four steps.

Things you should know:

Wands are cards of personal energy. They are the fire or magick, we project out. If you are familiar with the Kundalini you could see them from that viewpoint. They are physical actions of spiritual or deep rooted desires.

Cups are the cards of our emotions and all things inside. They represent the flow of our life. These cards represent relationships with others as well as ourselves.

Coins represent our material selves. Whether it  is career, or money, or possessions it can be found here. Many times we see the things in the “Coins” category as things to attain, tokens of stature or position or whatever. Instead, “Coins”, like so much else, should be viewed as tools and resources. Too often we become personally attached to the material expression of ourselves (not materialistic, per se.) and what we think it should be. For example, your job is a tool, a resource to get you where you are going…it is not what you are. If it no longer suits all of your needs it is time to search for something else.

Finally, Swords represent our mental facilities. They are not only the way our mind processes (anger, love, wants, desires, hopes, fear, aggressive, passive, etc) but also our expressions of those things. How we deal with them. For this reason Swords have also been associated with our creative selves, such as writing. Writing is a great way to express things that are otherwise pushed aside or let to run out of control. It is a good way to get a handle on what is really happening in our livers. And once something is out it is out, it can not return to your mind, but by invitation.

Medicine Wheel:

Querant – 9 of Wands
Crossing – 7 of Wands

East (New Beginnings/ cycles)  - Death (Reversed)
South (Spiritual Gifts/ Physical Journey) – 10 of Coins
West (Things to Go within – meditate on) – Knight of Cups (Reversed)
North (Physical Gifts/ Spiritual Journey) – 8 of Cups

Pathworking:

Card 1 (Where you are now) – The Devil (Reversed)
Card 2 (Internal Steps to take) – Queen of Coins
Card 3 (External Steps to take) – Page of Swords
Card 4 (The final Place)  - 8 of Coins

Blessing Card – The Star

At first glance you will notice that Coins and Cups dominate your spread. We are dealing with physical and emotional states here.

The first thing I see when I look at the cards, is there seems to be two levels of wisdom pitted against each other. A higher wisdom and a lower wisdom. The lower wisdom blocking the output or the expression of the higher wisdom. This is not necessarily a bad thing. This is not saying that you are being ignorant or stupid. It’s just two different levels of thinking and being.

The other thing I see, you seem to be your own worst enemy. It seems the problem is action vs. thought or Thought vs. Action, depending on how you’re coming at it. The question I would have to ask, before going any further, is, ”Are you being your own true self?”

This is a question that only you can answer, not the cards and not me, not anyone. Are you being your own true self. Sometimes we do things to express a part of ourselves that is there but is not our true self. It’s…I don’t know the correct analogy…but the square within the rectangle. Or, the rectangle within the square, depending on how you come at it. And that seems to be the best way to sum up your position right now. It all depends on which way you’re coming at it. But, only you know.

It seems you’re resisting change. It’s almost as if you know this is what you need to do and you’re not quite ready to do it. You’re being asked, or you are contemplating, or it’s coming up that you’re going to be asked, to let something go. If you want to advance, if you want to move forward, if you want our desire, your true desire, you are going to have to let a part of you lay down and die. And, there again, we are facing that higher self vs. lower self.

I am definitely seeing a move for you. There’s something…Your placement, your placement, or rather your advancement is dependent upon your placement. Where you are. What the cards are saying is that you’re going to be given that. If you don’t have that structure and stability that you feel you need to be, that is coming for you. That is coming for you. Okay?

Again, it’s like a completion. And there seems to be a lot of that in your cards.

Something you’re being asked to meditate upon, something you are being asked to go within and search, is kind of your idea of the “Knight in Shining Armor”. This card is indicated by the Knight of Cups. If you’re not finding the outward, physical expression of what it is you’re seeking, then perhaps you don’t have a clear idea of what it is you’re seeking. Or..or…you have a very clear inner image of what is you’re seeking, but when you try to project that out into the “real” world, you don’t always see what’s before your eyes. It’s like you’re constantly seeking. Perhaps it is time to stop seeking and find.  This goes back to are you being true to your own true self, are you following through on that?

The relationship is a good thing for you right now. The partnership. The relationship. It’s like two complete wholes coming together to make another complete whole, for lack of better phrasing. There is balance in this partnership for you. And, it would seem, that that is where the resistance is, the reluctance is.

Do you see how it all comes together? How it all ties together? The advancement you are looking for in your life is revolving around your inner feelings towards a relationship. And it would be interesting to see your numerology, because that may explain better why.

As I said, you seem to be caught in your own “sins of the flesh”, is what comes to mind when I look at this next card, which is the Devil. There’s nothing wrong with anything, and that’s what needs to be prefaced for this card. There’s nothing wrong with anything. Don’t think that this card or this reading is telling you that you need to change anything or do anything different or live a different life or be a different person. What you need to do is be you and what the card spread is asking you is, “Are you being you?”

Life works in stages and cycles. Don’t ever think that an opportunity missed is the only one. However, what ever it is that hides behind Door #1 here, seems to be good. It is the shining star, the shining light. That little glimmer in your eyes. What you’re looking for is right before your eyes and it could make all the difference in the world.

The next card is talking about, “What do you want your life to be?”

What do you want your physical life to be? Perhaps it is time to look at that. A lot of what you’ve been doing, or living, has satisfied certain levels of your being; emotional, mental perhaps, sexual…which is a sort of physical expression, but this card is asking you to look beyond individual points and pieces and look at who it is you want to be remembered as. When it is all said and done who do you want, what do you want, to be remembered as?

This next card is interesting and I wish you could see it, because the visual alone would speak volumes to you. It is a man in the woods and you can tell he’s moving, he’s looking, he’s sneaking…but with purpose and purpose he knows. It’s like he’s looking for something and only he knows where it’s at. I think that sums up a lot. When it comes to life, only we hold the map to our own personal treasure. The card not only shows that you’re in control, this is your thing, but it also speaks to me of Don’t Miss The Forest For The Trees.  And again, this is what I just got done saying. You’re looking at the individual trees (pieces) saying, “This pine tree here and this maple tree here and this oak tree here,” and you’re taking them and from that, trying to envision the whole forest and you can’t. You need to step back from those individual trees and let everything blend together.

The last card on the Pathworking Spread is back to coins and partnership and completion and abundance and infinity. It’s all right there and you are on your way to it. As soon as you accept it and allow the changes and the shifts, or force them, that need to take place.

I’m thinking that the catch here may be that the relationship you think I’m talking about is not the one I’m talking about. So please bear that in mind. Ok?

The last card is the Blessing Card and this is the Star. I think that kind of says it best. Again, sometimes the cards speak for themselves. You’re on your way. Whatever it is you’re trying to attain, but you do have to accept what goes along with that.

July 27, 2004

The Altar of Me - Part 7

On your knees before my Font, I offer my soul and body to you, my Master.  I adore the brightness of your Purity, the unerring keenness of your Justice, and the might of your Love.  You are the Strength and Light of my soul.  In you I live and move and am.  I desire never to grieve you by unfaithfulness to Grace, and I pray with all my heart to be kept from the smallest sin against you.  Mercifully guard my every thought and grant that I may always watch for your Light and listen to your Voice and follow your gracious Inspirations.  I cling to You and give myself to You and ask You by Your Compassion to watch over me in my weakness.  I implore you Master, to keep me in your Grace that I may never sin against you.  Give me Grace O Master, Spirit of Trust and Desire, to say to you always and everywhere, "Speak Master, for thy servant heareth."

And I lie there.  With the heat of your Candle waiting to be extinguished by the Font of my Desire.  My body aches for that release.  For you to take this cup away from me ... relieve me of this pain.

"My Beth, I think you are ready now.  You are ready to be completely mine ... to give yourself to me in body and spirit."  And with that you leave me once again.  At the brink ... looking down the edge and becoming dizzy with vertigo at the steepness of my Want.  Then movement, and I hear the sound of metal and glass coming into contact with each other.

"Beth ... it is time for you to deliver yourself to me.  For you to become mine ... body and soul.  Are you ready for that my darling Beth?"

"Yes, I am Master."

"Are you ready to be my property?"

"Yes, Master ... this girl delivers all of herself to your will and want."  I reply in a heavy sigh ...

"Darling Beth, are you ready to submit yourself completely to my will?"

"Yes Master.  Into your hands I commit my spirit."

And with that final word out of my quivering mouth, you proceed.  You lean over my face and kiss my cheek ... and the smell of Spikenard oil fills my head ... rebirth.  You consecrate my shoulders ... breasts ... neck ... arms ... and legs with the warm dryness of the Spikenard.  Once you have blessed my body with your hand you once again lean over my face.  Kiss my cheek ... and softly I whisper in your ear ...

"My Master, you are my heaven, hallowed be Your Name ... Your will be done."  And the tears start to stream down my face.  I sense my death near, and my rebirth ... ever closer.  You gently wipe my face, and taste the bitter saltiness of my tears upon your fingertips.  Once again ... your want ... your need ... your desire ... living through me ... in me ... about to be unloosed upon our bodies.

I then feel your hands go towards my left side and pick up an object.  Though I am blindfolded, I am aware of what it is.  It is my kollar.  The symbol of my will given to you ... that I am yours ... body and soul.

"Darling Beth ... know that by wearing this kollar you will not suffer eternal fire ... but obtain Salvation ..."

And I feel the heat of your hands approach my neck.  The stainless steel kollar ... cold to the touch ... DEATH ... it is soon warmed by my pulse jumping in my neck ... brought to life as it is locked around my neck.  It seals my fate ... yet I am resurrected.  It is finished.

"Wear it devoutly and perserveringly.  It is my kollar.  To be bound by it means you are continually thinking of me, and I in turn, am always thinking of you and helping you to secure the Salvation you seek my Beth."

I am yours.  I am consecrated.  The curtain of the Temple has been torn in two.  I have given up my form to you ... I am in a transitory state of Death and Life.  And Your Breath ... Your Fire is what I need to make it across.  The Candle and the Font ... the ritual continues ... the stirring ... the stirring ... glistening with oil of Spikenard that you had lavished upon my form ... I am aglow ... going into the Light ... and it is bliss.  I am in the rigormortis of want ... need ... desire ... and LUST!

 

July 22, 2004

The Altar of Me - Part 6

Your salacious lechery has been offered up to the congregation of my mind ... accepted ... revered ... and prayed upon ... I bow as it is made corporeal.  Your tongue dancing on my precipice, undulating with hard-pressed desire.  Lustful incantations are slathered upon my Altar ... and my blessings are shed upon your supplicating mouth.

A rapid desire emanates from my vestibule upon your pious countenance ... and I tremble with religious fervor at the praises that continue to be lavished upon my being.  Your arms begin to reach up to me ... praise ... and forcefully you dig into my breasts.  Crucifying yourself upon my frame ... and it is done.  I am yours. 

Stripped down to my barest elements I now am yours.  Your property.  You only need whisper my NAME ... even through your eyes ... and I am at your command.  Your pleasures will be realized ... I am your heaven and your hell now ... Your possession ... and at the same time you are my possessed ... for only through me will your wants ... lusts ... and desires be realized. 

You gradually pull yourself up towards my face.  The rose windows of our eyes are mirrored in our being and the intangible contract is sealed.  Your want is my want ... Your need is my need ... Your desire is my desire ... and all it takes is ONE word ... and it is bestowed to you ... My want ... My need ... My desire ... My three in one.

The Font of my Altar has been consecrated by your seal.  Now ... exposed ... it is waiting for the sanctified union of the Candle to the Font ... to be stirred ... to be claimed ... accepted ... complete ... taken into you.  That is all there is needed to make me complete.  Now ... the thoughts need to follow with actions to induce the sublimation of this carnality.  To rise from the dead ... take on a new form ...

Contrition ... O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee, and I detest all my Sins, because I dread the loss of heaven, and the pains of hell;  but most of all because they offend Thee, my God, who are all good and deserving of all my love.  I firmly resolve with the help of Thy grace, to confess my sins, to do penance, and to amend my life.  Amen ...

Our eyes depart from each other as you place yourself between the transept of my Altar.  Sitting on your knees ... the heat of the Candle is felt upon the Font ... Condensation ensues ... and the ceremonial concupiscence of carnal knowledge begins ... 






July 20, 2004

The Meaning Of Letters

I came up with this poem after reading a bit on Gor philosophy.  Though rooted in fiction, many people decide to live this type of lifestyle - which I have found quite interesting.  What my friend Scott says holds true.  You are truly influenced by that which you read last.  Indeed.
 
I am here to mix up these 26 letters and make them my own.
Define them as I see fit, for they have no home.
To you the word slave holds uncomely connotations.
But to me it stands for exquisite relations.
To be possessed by another - soul and all.
To be there for Him and heed only His call.
To wash the world away with the sound of his voice.
And to venerate Him - that is my choice.
To go beyond the usual boundaries of trust, faith and lust.
To belong to a Master and see it as just.
To give of yourself to all of his pleasures.
For only then will the slave be a treasure.
And that is the moment when you are truly free.
Even though you are bound by His decree.